Holiday Stress and How to Create Your Own Village

I know, I know-it’s just October. Pumpkin spice is barely cooling, the Halloween candy is still staring us down from store shelves, and here I am talking about holiday stress. But trust me, if we don’t get ahead of it now, November and December will sneak up like two uninvited guests-you blink, and suddenly the year’s end is crashing the party.  

Why Holiday Stress Sneaks In (Like a Sudden Storm on a Clear Day) 

• Expectations vs. reality: social media says matching pajamas and perfect smiles. Real life says burnt pies and someone asking why you’re still single. 

• Money stress: Because apparently love and joy come with receipts. 

• Family dynamics: Nothing says “holiday spirit” like unresolved drama resurfacing over mashed potatoes. 

• Loneliness: Sometimes the quiet feels louder than the crowd. 

  
  

That’s why you need a village-your hand-picked circle of people, practices, and faith, that keep you grounded when the holiday whirlwind begins. 

Build Your Village (No Actual Goats or Huts Required) 

Your village doesn’t have to look traditional. It’s whoever and whatever gives you strength, peace, and belonging. 

1. Pick your people wisely – Stick with those who see and support you. Bonus points if they don’t judge your third slice of pie. 

2. Set boundaries – Saying no is holy work, too. Protect your peace. 

3. Mix it up – Family dinners are great, but so are Friendsgivings, community events, and quiet nights at home. 

4. Lean into spiritual resources – For many, faith traditions, mindfulness practices, or moments of reflection bring deep grounding. Whether it’s gathering with your community, meditating, attending a service, or honoring your personal rituals, weaving spirituality into your village can offer calm and meaning when the season feels chaotic. 

5. Share the load – Villages thrive when everyone contributes. You don’t have to juggle the whole holiday circus by yourself-let others carry a few of the flaming torches too! 

6. Quick Stress-Busters That Work 

7. Breathe deeply (yes, even hiding in the bathroom if necessary). 

8. Schedule downtime like it’s a holy appointment. 

9. Create traditions that honor your values, whether that’s a family meal, a walk in nature, or attending a holiday service. 

10. Keep it simple: less glitter, more grace. 

    
    

Wrapping It Up (Pun Fully Intended) 

The holidays don’t have to tangle you up like last year’s string lights. They can be a time to laugh, to connect, and to lean into the strength of your chosen village. Whether that’s friends, family, a spiritual community, therapy/counseling, or even just the practices that remind you of your worth-you get to decide.  

This year, give yourself the gift of boundaries, connection, and a little faith that you’ll come out on the other side not only surviving, but maybe even smiling. 

References: 

• American Psychological Association. “Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most.” APA, Nov. 30, 2023. 

• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). “Supporting Your Mental Health During the Holiday Season.” 

About the Author: My name is Nagnouma Sako. I’m a clinical intern at Allow Health LLC, completing my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. My multicultural background has shaped who I am, enriching my perspective and deepening my appreciation for different worldviews. My journey into mental health comes after 10+ years in accounting and nonprofit management.  

If you ask me, I haven’t strayed too far from my true passion-helping people-only now, I get to do it more intimately and directly!