Navigating the Complex Landscape of Grief and Healing

Let’s Talk About Grief (Even If It’s The Last Thing You Want to Talk About) 

That five-letter word nobody wants to hear, feel, or sit with-yet somehow, it pulls up a chair in all of our lives like an uninvited guest who refuses to leave. 

Whether it tiptoes in quietly or crashes through the front door like a wrecking ball, grief changes everything. It reorders priorities, fogs our brains, drains our energy, and makes everyday tasks-like answering texts or choosing what to eat-feel like climbing a mountain barefoot, with a backpack full of invisible bricks. 

What Is Grief, Really? 

Grief isn’t just about losing a person. It's the pain that comes with any kind of loss-loss of a loved one, a relationship, a dream, health, stability, identity. Sometimes, it even comes dressed up as anger, numbness, or hyper-productivity (hello, “I’m fine” mode). 

And here's the kicker: grief is normal. It’s a natural, human response to loss-but that doesn't mean it’s easy, or fair, or that you're supposed to know what to do with it. 

The Emotional Toll (Spoiler: It’s a Lot) 

Grief doesn’t just hurt emotionally-it can wear you down physically and mentally. 

You might experience: 

• Sleep disturbances (either too much or not at all) 

• Appetite changes (from "I can’t eat" to "Why did I just finish an entire loaf of bread?") 

• Memory lapses (Where are my keys? Wait, what day is it again?) 

• Mood swings (sad, angry, anxious, repeat!) 

• Isolation (because “I don’t want to talk about it” becomes the default setting) 

If you feel like you're slowly becoming a new version of yourself and you didn’t ask for the upgrade-yep, that’s grief, too. 

Grief Can Be a Sneaky Architect of Mental Health Disorders 

Grief can open the door to complicated grief, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or even developmental disruptions in children and teens who are trying to make sense of a world that suddenly stopped making sense. 

Kids may start regressing, withdrawing, or acting out-not because they’re “being bad” but because their nervous systems are overwhelmed and no one has explained what’s happening in a language they understand. 

Adults might carry a silent burden of trauma-putting on a brave face while internally feeling like they’re walking on emotional eggshells. This "strength" often becomes a shield that hides deep emotional wounds (many are here!). 

So... How Do We Mend? 

First, let’s be clear: grief doesn’t always have a “closure” moment tied up in a neat little bow. Some losses will live with us forever, and healing isn’t about forgetting-it’s about learning how to live with the loss and find meaning again. 

Here are a few ways to start mending: 

1. Feel the Feels 

Cry. Journal. Scream into a pillow. Stare at a wall for 20 minutes. Whatever moves the emotion through, let it happen. Grief demands attention and bottling it up is like trying to hold back a flood with a sponge! 

2. Say It Out Loud 

Talk to someone-a friend, counselor/therapist, support group, or that kind cashier who asks how your day is going and actually seems to mean it. Speaking grief makes it lighter, so let it out. 

3. Move Your Body 

Grief lives in the body. Walk, stretch, dance like nobody’s watching (or while crying-both are valid). Movement helps regulate our overwhelmed nervous systems. 

4. Be Ridiculously Gentle With Yourself 

You are not “too sensitive” or “weak.” You are grieving. That deserves tenderness. Rest when you’re tired. Lower the bar. (And yes, eating leftovers totally counts as self-care.) 

5. Seek Professional Support 

Therapists don’t have magic wands, but we do have tools, compassion, and a deep respect for your story. Sometimes you just need a safe space to not “be strong” for a minute. 

Final Thoughts: Grief Isn’t a Detour-It’s a Part of the Road 

Grief isn't something to fix. It's something to tend to. Like a garden after a wildfire, the terrain may look unrecognizable for a while-but healing can and does happen. Flowers bloom again. So do people. 

If you’re in the thick of it, please know this: There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re human. And you’re doing your best to carry something incredibly heavy while the world keeps spinning. That, my friend, is courage. 

And if today your only accomplishment was brushing your teeth or breathing deeply for 30 seconds, that still counts. 

References:

American Psychological Association (APA) – Grief: Coping with the Loss of a Loved One https://www.apa.org/topics/grief 

Center for Complicated Grief – Columbia University https://complicatedgrief.columbia.edu 

Children and Grief – Dougy Center https://www.dougy.org 

National Alliance for Children’s Grief (NACG) https://nacg.org 

Bessel van der Kolk (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. 

About the Author: My name is Nagnouma Sako. I’m a clinical intern at Allow Health LLC, completing my Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. My multicultural background has shaped who I am, enriching my perspective and deepening my appreciation for different worldviews. My journey into mental health comes after 10+ years in accounting and nonprofit management.  

If you ask me, I haven’t strayed too far from my true passion-helping people-only now, I get to do it more intimately and directly!