What are Cognitive Distortions and How Can They Trip Us Up?

Do you ever find yourself having thoughts like, “If it’s not perfect, then I’ve failed,” or “My friend must be upset with me because they’ve been really quiet today.” These are two very common examples of cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions are unhelpful patterns of thinking that can make everyday situations feel more overwhelming than they actually are. 

Put simply, cognitive distortions are ways our mind twist reality in negative and habitual ways. It can happen so often and naturally that it feels like truth. Cognitive distortions can sneak into our thoughts, fuel anxious or discouraged feelings, and often go unnoticed.  

Cognitive distortions tend to show up when we are stressed, anxious, or feeling low. Left unchecked, they can reinforce feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, or self-criticism. However, once you start recognizing these harmful patterns, it becomes easier to replace them with kinder, more balanced thoughts instead. 

5 Common Thinking Traps 

Here are five familiar cognitive distortions and how they tend to play out: 

1. All or Nothing Thinking (Black and White Thinking) - You might think, “If I don’t do this perfectly, then I am a total failure”. This kind of thinking misses the middle ground. Progress, effort, and learning go unnoticed. It turns little mistakes into massive evidence o f being “not good enough”. 

2. Catastrophizing (Expecting the Worst) - You might think, “If I don’t hear back from them, they must be mad. And they’re going to break up with me.” Your mind zooms straight to the worst-case scenario, without even checking in with the facts.  

3. Mind Reading / Fortune Telling - You assume, “They didn’t smile at me, it must mean they don’t like me.” But we don't actually know what someone else is thinking, and negative assumptions can create a story that’s not based on solid ground. 

4. Labeling - You label yourself, “I’m stupid,” after messing up one small task. This takes one moment and turns it into a sweeping judgment about who you are. You become the mistake, instead of seeing the mistake as just that, a mistake. 

5. Emotional Reasoning - You feel it, so it must be true, “I feel anxious, so something must be wrong.” Feelings feel real, but that doesn’t mean they reflect reality. Anxiety can sound louder than logic. 

How to Start Untangling These Thoughts: 

1. Notice when distortions pop up. Awareness is the first step. 

2. Name the distortion. 

3. Ask yourself questions. “Is it really all bad if I make one mistake?” “What would I say to a friend in this situation?” 

4. Offer yourself kinder, more balanced thoughts. Swap, “I am a total failure” with “I just stumbled, I am still trying.” 

5. Practice noticing small wins.  

Cognitive distortions do not mean that something is wrong with you. They are habits that everyone deals with. Recognizing them is difficult, but a powerful act of self-compassion and growth. If you feel stuck or want extra support, therapy can be super helpful in recognizing and challenging cognitive distortions.  

References: 

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-recognize-and-tame-your-cognitive-distortions-202205042738